Sunday 5th October 2003: Stand-Up Coffee and Endangered Thin People
I can't believe that after all these years the UK has finally come up with this great idea of a "new" debit card system whereby customers punch in their PIN numbers instead of giving their signatures. Now, how many decades ago did the US start using this system? The UK may be years ahead of the US as far as TV, video, and mobile phone technology, but it's good to see the US is ahead in something.
The Coffee Republic espresso coffeehouse chain has decided to increase their profits by removing all the comfy sofas and armchairs from their cafes. They feel that having comfortable furniture makes customers linger too long over one coffee. Why not just turn all Coffee Republics into Jack-in-the-Box-style drive-throughs? Then you don't have to worry about any sort of seating.
Speaking of fast food, the first European Krispy Kreme doughnut shop (which started in North Carolina in 1937) opened last week inside Harrods. All sorts of celebrities turned out, and in anticipation 2 people had queued all night. Apparently when a new Krispy Kreme opens in the US it's been known for customers to queue 12 days in advance, with lines of traffic forming for several miles. And all this for a little sticky greasy sugary torus.
No wonder there's such a problem with obesity. The Goliath Casket Company offers a special range of coffins for the obese. A typical model is 4 feet wide, requires 15 pallbearers, and can hold a 64-stone corpse. (As a stone is equivalent to 14 pounds, that comes out to 896 pounds!!!)
This is obviously why clothing manufacturers are increasing their sizes. A recent mail-order catalogue we received offers Size 10 as the lowest possible woman's size. I'm a UK Size 4. Looks like I'll have to get at least rich enough to hire my own personal tailor. Or become a nudist...
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(5.10.03 11:39) Yea - wearing kids clothes must be a bit of a pain too - I have the opisite problem - 6'5 and 37" legs - try buying trousers in Marks and Spencers with 37" legs You can always eat lots of chocolate :-) untill you become a size 10 |
